Helen went on to the stage, bowed towards the judges, and started dancing.
She danced as if no one was watching.
She danced as if her feet were on fire.
She danced as she’d never danced before.
She danced as if she would never dance again.
She kept dancing till her feet bled, and she collapsed on the stage.
Getting up, she bowed towards the judges again, and said, “I wish you’d agreed to give me a chance.”
And then, with a withering look at the corpses of the judges on their seats, Helen left.
Her performance was over.
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This story has been written for the wonderful folks of the Carrot Ranch Literary Community. The challenge was: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that features a performance. You can interpret what is a performance any way the prompt leads you.
If you want to participate, here’s the link: https://carrotranch.com/2017/12/07/december-7-flash-fiction-challenge/
That was beautiful….
Thank you so much
Well done. I was liking it anyway then the surprise at the end! She’s a dangerous dancer.
Thank you so much D. Avery. Those judges had no one to blame but themselves.
Wow, I wasn’t expecting that ending!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you so much Susan.
I too was not expecting that dancer. Perhaps if she’d stopped sooner they’d have given her a chance – instead they were danced to their graves. Your description of the dance reminded me of the film ‘They Shoot horses don’t they.’ Good one.
Thanks Irene. I guess I kept it too subtle because of the word limit, the story in my head was that they rejected her, so she killed them, then danced the best dance of her life in front of their bodies 🙂
It was too subtle for me – I had too many dancing stories in mind as I read your story that it took me in a totally different track. It just shows how world view can affect how a piece is read and this is something the writer has little if any control over.
Interesting how your flash makes me think that we all could perform better if only we killed our critics, and danced like they no longer watched!
Absolutely.
Ooh, interesting ending! Loved that.
Thank you so much Lisa.
Nice and nasty with a surprise twist. 🙂
Thank you so much Anne.
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