Barney Decides to Carpe Diem

It was the first day of college for Barney the bear

And he was all excited about what to wear

He just knew that one look at him, and girls in the college would swoon and sway

For Barney had decide to carpe diem, to just go ahead and seize the day

 

He would not depend only on his natural good looks this time

His rotund tummy, long, silky hair, and voice as smooth as good Vodka with lime

The occasion demanded something in front of which his competitors would look like dirt

So he dug deep into his wardrobe, and lovingly took out his new white trousers, and fluorescent orange shirt

 

He took a long, leisurely bath, shampooing every strand of hair

And then he picked up his comb, and brushed them with utmost care

It was time to dress now, to enhance his beauty even more

And finally, after half a bottle of Hugo Boss, he strutted out of the door

 

“Aren’t you having breakf….” his mother stopped mid-sentence as she saw him

And frozen with shock, continued pouring milk in a glass already filled to the brim

And as Barney came up to her to hug her and give her a kiss

She exclaimed, “You’re seriously planning to go to college like this?”

 

Barney was indignant, and replied, “What is wrong with these clothes, pray may I ask?

Trying to explain fashion to your generation, is really a tall task!”

“But…but…but…” stuttered his mother, “They’re fluorescent…”

He stopped her right then and there, and said, “Did I ask you for your consent?”

 

And then, in a huff, he walked out of his home, not even eating his food

But then he decided, he would not let her lack of fashion sense spoil his mood

So he reached the bus stop, and took a bus going towards his destination

And was pleased to see that people throughout were looking at him with wonder and admiration

 

Yes, I have arrived, he thought to himself as he walked towards the college gate, full of vigour & vim

And saw that as he walked past his fellow students, heads turned automatically to stare at him

With this level of popularity, he started dreaming, I could become College President

A glorious achievement that, for a First Year student, was entirely without precedent

 

And it was then that he heard the first jarring note of laughter

It started as a twitter, but reached a crescendo soon after

Barney turned around to try and get some clarity

And it was then that he realized that HE was the target of their hilarity

 

His face went red, and he could not contain himself anymore

So he raised his arms in exasperation and shouted, “You ignoramuses, haven’t you seen a fluorescent orange shirt before?”

And it was then that a bespectacled bear walked up to him quietly, trying very hard not to stare

And said, “I hate to break this to you, old boy, but underneath your white pants, is clearly visible….a fluorescent orange underwear!”

About anuragbakhshi

At the age of 40, I decided to exit the corporate world, and enter the world of stories as a full-time writer. Wish me luck!
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