I spied him from a distance, standing in the balcony of a plush apartment (bloody ameer baap ki aulaad) and withdrew into the shadows of the high-rise buildings of Mumbai. I was pretty sure he hadn’t seen me standing in the dark, waiting for my friends. I quickly sent out a WhatsApp message on our gang’s group: Come quietly, without letting yourself being seen by anyone on the road.
10 minutes passed, and they were all standing next to me. I told them who I had seen, that got them all excited and pumped up. We then started discussing what to do with him, when I had another of my brilliant ideas. “Let’s jerk that jerk around a bit,” I said, with a maniacal grin on my face. I then laid out the details of my diabolical plan in front of them, and when they saw what I intended to do, they all burst into loud guffaws in anticipation of the fun that we were going to have. And just like that, the plan was on!
We started by sauntering casually across the road in front of the house where I had seen him, making loud noises so as to alert him. As expected, he came out on the balcony to investigate the cause of the disturbance, saw us passing by…and froze. He could not believe the golden opportunity that he had just been given.
So he quickly went inside, picked up his weapon, and started to jump down the balcony when better sense prevailed as he realized that he was on the 18th floor. He rushed to the lift, came down, and ran outside, raising his weapon towards the sky and shouted….
“By the power of Grayskull!” and as a streak of lightening (followed by a bout of heavy rain) came down from the sky and hit his magic sword, Prince Adam transformed into He-Man!
The only problem was, we were nowhere to be seen by then!
Even a muscled-up bimbo like He-Man knew that running around the streets of Mumbai half-naked, with a sword in his hands, was not the greatest of ideas, so he quietly transformed into Prince Adam again, and ran towards the spot where he had last seen us.
He saw us at the next intersection. “I’ve got you know, you scoundrels,” he said to himself, and ran towards us, but just as he transformed into He-Man again (accompanied by the usual lightening and rain), we slipped into a dark alley and disappeared again, and he was left rubbing his hands and being forced to convert into Prince Adam…again.
We kept on leading him on this wild goose chase across the city, causing indiscriminate lightening and rainfall in the middle of the night, chuckling to ourselves, making jokes on his stupidity, repeatedly forcing him to transform into He-Man, and then change right back, till almost one hour into this ‘game’, we saw him stop!
That surprised me, in my long association with him, I had never known him to give up. It should have warned me, but I was so pumped up with adrenaline due to the thrill of the chase that I ignored the anomaly, and kept running….till we turned into an alley in Bandra, and realized that we were in the middle of a flood.
We could see all sort of weird things floating around us, cars, trucks, cows, goats….and even a tank. And before we could apply brakes to our feet, we were in the water, floating along with the debris, and swimming desperately to stay afloat.
And as the water took us back towards He-Man, we could hear his laughter pierce our ears, as he shouted out to me, “Skeletor, while you and your gang were busy causing an unseasonal thunderstorm in Mumbai, you forgot one important thing, the legendary Mumbai drainage system, which is so choked up that even a glass of water can lead to flooding. So all the time, while you thought you were leading me into a trap, you were building one for yourself…and you fell right into it!”
And as the water led me right to He-Man, and he bound us tightly with some magic rope, I roared out loud in frustration, and my friends Evil-Lyn, Beast Man, Tri-Clops, and Trap Jaw joined in!
Narrator’s Note: And this, my dear readers, was the thundering sound that you heard at 3am the night before last in Mumbai!