The Cool Cat

Jagan was not the coolest cat in town, he was humble enough to admit

But his intelligence was second to none, as was his wit

And so, since the day he learnt how to calculate 2+2

Jagan decided that for him, nothing less than IIT-Madras would do

 

So when others his age were prancing around in puddles in the muggy Chennai weather

Jagan was mugging up his Maths formula, chemical equations, and Physics solutions, without even a spot of bother

There were days when he would forget to sleep. bathe, eat or drink

But you would struggle to find a day when he was not studying, howsoever hard you might think

 

And his hard work finally bore fruit, but Jagan was still sad, for alas

He had got selected for IIT-Bombay, and not IIT-Madras

He contemplated dropping out, but not for long

For he knew that admission into an IIT didn’t happen for a song

 

So he decided to bite the bullet, and go to the wild, wild west

And that is how he found himself in Bombay, among the best of the best

But his fears had not been unfounded, for he stood out like a sore thumb

And his fellow students heard his strange accent, and decided that he was dumb

 

They picked on him, making fun of him, mocking him at the slightest pretext

And he was constantly worrying about what joke they would play on him next

Things got so ugly that one day, after a particularly hurtful remark

Jagan decided that enough was enough, he would not become a martyr like Ned Stark

 

 

So, using his considerable intelligence, Jagan arrived upon a fool-proof plan

He would become the boyfriend of the only girl in their class, then they would all say ‘He Da Man’

If they look up to me, thought Jagan, they cannot possibly look down upon me

So I shall position myself as the resident stud, only then will I be truly free

 

As the first step in this ‘Woo Anjali’ strategy, for Anjali was that lucky girls’s name

Jagan chose the Chemistry lab as Ground Zero for attracting the attention of the beauteous dame

And as Anjali left her spot to clarify a doubt from the Professor, and was listening carefully to what he had to say

Jagan quietly dropped something in her beaker so that the experiment would go wrong, and he would heroically rush in and save the day

 

But without realizing it, Jagan had made a minor miscalculation, and this is what led to the quagmire

The whole class was stunned, when there was a sudden loud explosion, and they all saw Jagan’s tail on fire

It took a moment to sink in- Jagan was on fire, and he had a tail, from which they could see tall flames rise

But being IITians, they soon figured out, that the object of their mockery, was actually a cat in disguise

 

It was then that Anjali saw a jar with cold fumes rising from it, and decided to pour it on the burning Ichhadhaari Cat

Little realizing that the jar was filled with Liquid Nitrogen, and we all know the effects of that

And as his body started freezing rapidly, from the paw to the crown

Jagan had a wistful smile on his face, for he’d finally become the coolest cat in town

 

 

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